Husband Asks for Divorce

In Dekalb County, Illinois during July 1900, a 33 year old bachelor named Lewis A. VanNess married a 22 year old woman named Mary Smith. In June of 1901, Mary gave her husband a little girl whom they named Mary after her. And in November of the following year little Mary, my 2x great grandmother, became a big sister with the birth of Grace Ann. By 1905, the budding family had moved to Juneau, Wisconsin where Lewis engaged in farming. In census records, they seem like a typical farming family, but there is much more to the story of my 3x great grandparents Lewis and Mary VanNess.

The above excerpt was taken from an article from the True Republican May 1906, back in the couple’s home town of Shabbona Grove, Dekalb, Illinois. An article that followed the headline: Husband Asks for Divorce. The subtitle of the article reads: But Wife Files Cross-bill Denying Allegations of Cruelty.

Lewis’ claim was that his wife was cruel to him and had a habit of using vile language while speaking to him. He also claimed that Mary was abusive to little Mary and Grace, striking them on occasion. And of course, that his wife had attempted to murder him,

Mary’s claim for her cross-bill divorce were that she was always affectionate and kind to her husband, and that he was cruel to her and the girls. She also went on to claim that they had not always lived happily together, and that their home life was an “utter failure” which she attributed to her husband’s excessive drinking. She asked for custody of the children and a share of Lewis’ property, which included 80 acres in Wisconsin, a team of horses, a wagon, a cow, and household furniture.

By mid-July 1906, the divorce was finalized. The court ruled on Mary’s behalf, awarding her custody of the girls. Below: Grace, Mary, and Mary Smith Vanness probably around 1905-1907.

In a surprising twist to the story of the VanNess family, on September 8, 1906 in the True Republican’s Court House Notes section in a list of names of couples with approved marriage licenses were some familiar names: “Louis Vanness, 38, and Mary Vanness, 28, both of Shabbona.” A little over a month after their divorce was finalized, the couple remarried each other. It’s unclear how the two reconciled, but they remained married this time until Mary’s death in 1945 and added a few more children to their family.

Above: (back to front, L to R) Clara Della, Laura Ella, Louis, and Margaret circa 1920-1922

• Laura Ella VanNess, named after Lewis’ mother, was born in 1908
• Clara Della was born in 1910
• Margaret Ethel was born in 1914
• Louis W. was born in 1917
• Carl H. was born in 1924

The couple moved north to Michigan between 1917 and 1920, settling in Otsego, Allegan, Michigan where Lewis worked one of the town’s paper mills and Grace worked at a shoe factory. Mary, now 18, worked in nearby Allegan as a waitress and boarded with the family of the restaurant’s manager.

In 1930, the VanNess’ were making their home in Trowbridge, Allegan County. Lewis was back to farming by that time. And at 63 and 51, they had two sons aged five and thirteen to care for. The couple lived out the remainder of their lives on that farm. Mary died in 1945 and Lewis followed her in 1953. They, as well as many of their children are interred in the Mallory Cemetery in Trowbridge, Allegan, Michigan.

Below: Lewis and Mary VanNess.

“Deserted and Abandoned”

I received the full divorce file of Martha Fast and William G. Bender from an extremely helpful Deputy County Clerk in Mercer County, Ohio and although unsurprised that the full record did not shed any light on the residency of William, I am a bit disappointed.

Martha Magnora Fast, wife of the ever elusive William was about 24 in the year 1896. She had two little children; a two year old daughter, Louella, and a four year old son, Jesse Preston (my great grandfather). This was also the year that her husband of six years, William G. Bender, vanished seemingly without a trace. He left his wife and children and failed to provide necessities such as food, clothing, and a home. Martha waited four long years before filing for divorce.

By the time Martha started trying to divorce her husband, she was just five days past her 28 birthday. She now had an eight year old son and a six year old daughter, they were all living in the home of her parents. Because she could not find her husband even after a diligent search and inquiring his whereabouts, she turned to a publication of her intent to divorce William in an attempt to notify him. The publication ran every Thursday for six weeks beginning on August 2nd 1900 in The Celina Democrat, ending on September 6th, 1900. On September 26th, 1900 the final paper was filed and the divorce, along with custody of the children was granted to Martha.

Although I haven’t succeeded in my ultimate goal of locating William Bender, it is amazing to know how brave Martha must have been during all of this. I have to wonder why she waited four years, maybe it was the stigma that came with being a divorcée back then, or maybe she wanted him to come home to her.

Still Searching

It has been almost two and a half years since I’ve posted about my elusive 2x great grandfather, William G. Bender, my most contemporary brick wall. What makes it so hard to find him is that I cannot seem to find any census records on him. I have managed to find his marriage record placing him in Mercer County in November 1890.

And today I am posting this because I received this lovely divorce record in my email inbox this morning, dated September 26, 1900 in Mercer. In June 1900, when the census was taken, Martha Bender listed as married but was living with her children in her parent’s home (Jacob Ginter Fast and Sarah) in Dublin, Mercer, Ohio. I was hoping this would tell me where William went, but all it’s told me is what I already knew: that he left.

There are two William Benders living in Mercer County, Ohio in 1870, one was the son of Hannah Amanda Murlin and Jonathan Bender, he moved from Center Twp. to Iowa by 1880 and married Melissa Ella Raw there in 1888. The other William Bender was the son of Clementina Lovina and Henry Bender, Henry died prior to 1880 and in the 1880 Census it’s just Lovina and daughter Eliza living with a farm laborer Lovina would later marry. Because Lovina had such a large farm I would assume that her now 15 year old son would be living with her if alive, but William is missing by 1880 and I presume he is dead.

Hopefully I am one step closer in locating William and his family…